Robertson Family

This morning we thought our life was changing drastically forever. We got a call about adopting a little boy in Detroit, Michigan tomorrow. He was born with Down Syndrome and his parents didn't have the resources available to care for him. I felt so strongly this was our child. I immediately called David to tell him. He started crying before he even said anything. He knew this was our child. See, we've always felt that we would adopt a special needs baby and although the timing wasn't perfect we felt he was ours. So began the crazy race to baby. Endless hoops, paperwork and chaos instantly ensues. Especially in this case where we had to travel by plane 8hrs and be placed with a baby less than 12hrs later. We've been through this before. We do very well at handling all the things that need to happen RIGHT NOW with a situation like this. As the day unfolded we got more excited about how our family was going to grow. We told Oakley that we were going to go on an airplane to get her baby brother. She asked all morning about her baby brother. We were talking names and making arrangements with the agency. I packed and was about to reserve our flights. Then we got another call. One that is always possible. Possible all the way up until you stand in front of a judge and hear the world "final". But I really didn't think that was going to be the case with this baby. The agency told us a local couple had just come forward and was willing to adopt the baby and we were not longer the adoptive parents for this child. What? Did I just hear that? After all the strong feelings, the promptings, the confirmation that we need to pursue this. After working through paperwork and details with the agency all day? After all, this was exactly what we always thought would be for our family; a little black boy with Downs. I found myself on the phone with the agency pleading for the right to this child. It didn't matter. The answer was NO. Was it right of the agency to call us this morning saying will you be the adoptive parents of this child we have no one here willing to accept him? Was it right for them to tell us to reserve tickets everything looks good on our end? Was it right that at the very last minute, and I mean the very last, to have someone else walk in and get that child just for the reason that it made paperwork easier because they are local? NO! It isn't right, but the bottom line is, that baby wasn't OUR baby. Why were were prompted? Why were there confirmations to our prayers this morning? I don't know, but for some reason this is how it was supposed to go. I suppose that our Heavenly Father was testing our faith. Would we jump if He said jump? YES, because we have faith. We know He has a plan for us. At least we know that if He were to ask us if we did all we can, we could answer whole heartedly yes.  I am usually so level headed about this stuff and don't get too emotionally involved until we're sure, but it felt so right this time. I've been really trying to hold it all together and not get emotional about this, but I'm human; I'm disappointed and sad. I tried not to cry, but some people, whom I love very much, sent us a beautiful bouquet of flowers. All the card said is "With Love," and their names. When I opened the card I started to cry. "With love" We are loved, it will all be okay. It's okay to cry, we're here, we love you. It was like the rainbow after rain and I knew everything would be okay.